Quote

Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Live
Dreams
Something
Week
Always
Came
Nailed
Three
Weeks
True
Witness
Dream
Finally
Someone
Car
Wanted
Saws

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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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