Quote

Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Dream
Finally
Someone
Car
Wanted
Saws
Live
Dreams
Something
Week
Always
Came
Nailed
Three
Weeks
True
Witness

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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I get so into the moment.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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