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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Shows
Vampire
Hands
Campaign
Going
Campaigns
Kind
Disappear
Like
Type
Shake
People
Philosophy
Comics
Politics
Types
Night
Shakes
More quotes by Dane Cook
Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
