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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Comedy
Producer
Control
Producers
Actors
Director
Whole
Piece
Sometimes
Directors
Thing
Actor
Bouncer
Always
Writer
Puzzle
Pieces
Puzzles

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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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I get so into the moment.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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