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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Always
Writer
Puzzle
Pieces
Puzzles
Comedy
Producer
Control
Producers
Actors
Director
Whole
Piece
Sometimes
Directors
Thing
Actor
Bouncer

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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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I get so into the moment.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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