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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Comedy
Producer
Control
Producers
Actors
Director
Whole
Piece
Sometimes
Directors
Thing
Actor
Bouncer
Always
Writer
Puzzle
Pieces
Puzzles
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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