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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Hands
Spoon
Must
Spoons
Feeble
Feds
Excited
Stage
Actually
Shows
Brittle

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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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