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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Everyone
Mother
Stories
Years
Year
Story

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I won't take no for a question.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
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I get so into the moment.
Dane Cook