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I'm a late-night guy.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Guy
Night
Late
More quotes by Dane Cook
You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
Dane Cook
I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook
I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
Dane Cook
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
Dane Cook
On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
Dane Cook
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
Dane Cook
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook