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I'm a late-night guy.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Late
Guy
Night

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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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I get so into the moment.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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