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I'm a late-night guy.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Late
Guy
Night

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook