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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Someone
Going
Always
People
Watching
Comedy
Enjoy

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I won't take no for a question.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
Dane Cook
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook