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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Loud
Laugh
Laughing
Comics

More quotes by Dane Cook

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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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