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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Swear
Watching
Saying
True
Right

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
Dane Cook
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
Dane Cook
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
Dane Cook
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
Dane Cook
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Dane Cook
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
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I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
Dane Cook
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
Dane Cook