Quote

When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Swear
Watching
Saying
True
Right

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
Dane Cook
Image
If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Image
When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
Image
I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
Dane Cook
Image
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
Image
Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
Dane Cook
Image
I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
Image
I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
Image
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
Image
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
Image
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
Image
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
Image
Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane Cook
Image
Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
Dane Cook
Image
You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
Image
We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
Dane Cook
Image
I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
Dane Cook
Image
I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
Image
Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
Image
There's estrogen running through my veins!
Dane Cook