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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Swear
Watching
Saying
True
Right

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I get so into the moment.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
Dane Cook
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Dane Cook