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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
True
Right
Swear
Watching
Saying

More quotes by Dane Cook

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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
Dane Cook
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
Dane Cook
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
Dane Cook
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
Dane Cook
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
Dane Cook
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
Dane Cook
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
Dane Cook
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook