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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Bless
Lord

More quotes by Dane Cook

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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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I get so into the moment.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
Dane Cook
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
Dane Cook
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
Dane Cook
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook