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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Bless
Lord

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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook