Quote

I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Shoes
Goes
Went
Wonderful
School
Shoe
Good
Kick
Kicks
Legs

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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook