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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Wearing
Street
Bleed
Guess
Superman
Walking
Chest
Streets
Chests
Somebody
Shirt
Start
Shirts
Shoot
More quotes by Dane Cook
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
I won't take no for a question.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
Dane Cook
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
Dane Cook
When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook