Quote

When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Streets
Chests
Somebody
Shirt
Start
Shirts
Shoot
Wearing
Street
Bleed
Guess
Superman
Walking
Chest

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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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I won't take no for a question.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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