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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Fronts
Douches
Married
Retarded
Everybody
Lawns
Fall
Bags
Love
Falls
People
Neighborhood
Committed
Lifetime
Tardiness

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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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