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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Actor
Quotes
Stage
Karate
Actors
Toss
Fear
Director
Kids
Excited
Doe
Sorry
Time
Directors
Bouncer
Exist
Dojo
More quotes by Dane Cook
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
Dane Cook
They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
Dane Cook
Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook
I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
Dane Cook
I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook
I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
Dane Cook
I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook
You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
Dane Cook
When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
