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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Time
Directors
Bouncer
Exist
Dojo
Actor
Quotes
Stage
Karate
Actors
Toss
Fear
Director
Kids
Excited
Doe
Sorry
More quotes by Dane Cook
There's estrogen running through my veins!
Dane Cook
When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook
When I'm wrong I'm like the Emperor on the Death Star thinking he'll turn Luke. Yet, when I'm right I'm a Jedi like my father before me.
Dane Cook
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
Dane Cook
I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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Dear semi hot girl taking photos on a boat. It's not your boat so stop acting like you own it. You drive a used Civic.
Dane Cook
I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
Dane Cook
If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
Dane Cook
Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook
