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Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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More quotes by Dane Cook

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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
Dane Cook
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
Dane Cook
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
Dane Cook
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
Dane Cook
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
Dane Cook
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
Dane Cook
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
Dane Cook
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook
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I get so into the moment.
Dane Cook
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
Dane Cook
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
Dane Cook
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
Dane Cook