Quote

I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Saying
Everybody
Vegas
Telling

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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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