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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Everybody
Vegas
Telling
Saying

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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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