Quote

I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Muffin
Muffins
English
Anything
Even

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
When you see somebody walking down the street wearing a Superman t-shirt, you just want to shoot them in the chest ... when they start to bleed go, I guess not
Dane Cook
Image
I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
Dane Cook
Image
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
Dane Cook
Image
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
Image
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
Image
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
Image
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook
Image
Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
Dane Cook
Image
I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook
Image
There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
Image
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
Image
When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
Dane Cook
Image
I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
Image
I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
Dane Cook
Image
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
Image
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
Image
It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
Dane Cook
Image
I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.
Dane Cook
Image
People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook