Quote

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Thinking
Cab
Fare
Taxi
Drunk
Drinking
Really
Time
Think

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
Dane Cook
Image
We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
Dane Cook
Image
When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
Dane Cook
Image
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
Image
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook
Image
Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
Image
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
Image
I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
Dane Cook
Image
I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
Image
I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
Image
Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
Dane Cook
Image
On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
Dane Cook
Image
You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
Image
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
Image
I get so into the moment.
Dane Cook
Image
If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
Image
Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
Dane Cook
Image
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
Image
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
Image
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook