Quote

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Dane Cook

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Think
Thinking
Cab
Fare
Taxi
Drunk
Drinking
Really
Time

More quotes by Dane Cook

Image
I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
Image
It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
Dane Cook
Image
Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
Dane Cook
Image
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
Image
They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
Image
It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
Dane Cook
Image
It really drives me banana sangwich.
Dane Cook
Image
That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
Dane Cook
Image
Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
Image
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
Image
Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook
Image
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
Image
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
Image
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
Image
When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
Image
You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
Dane Cook
Image
Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
Dane Cook
Image
Are there glass shards in my anus?!
Dane Cook