Quote

Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.

Dane Cook

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TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Thinking
Cab
Fare
Taxi
Drunk
Drinking
Really
Time
Think

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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I'm focused on staying as healthy as I can so I can work more.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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There's estrogen running through my veins!
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I won't take no for a question.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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