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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Funny
Smashed
Kids
Cream
Remember
Ice
Young
Eating
Going
Saws
Boys
Face
Cone
Faces
Cones
More quotes by Dane Cook
I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
Dane Cook
A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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I miss dating only for that final moment you kiss goodnight, watch her get out of your car and run into the police station.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
Dane Cook
When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
Dane Cook
I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
Dane Cook
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
