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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Funny
Smashed
Kids
Cream
Remember
Ice
Young
Eating
Going
Saws
Boys
Face
Cone
Faces
Cones
More quotes by Dane Cook
Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I love being on stage if I'm not on a set. If I'm at home, I'm usually in my office editing or reconstructing my website or whatever it may be. I just love putting creativity into a performance.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
Dane Cook
I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
Dane Cook
When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
