Quote

I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Faces
Cones
Funny
Smashed
Kids
Cream
Remember
Ice
Young
Eating
Going
Saws
Boys
Face
Cone

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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I won't take no for a question.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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