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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Face
Crew
Working
Hopefully
Faces
Laughter
Everyone
Guys
Making
Comedy
Someone
Movie
Men
Guy
Stifling
Like
Looking
Hoping
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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