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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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Congressman
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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Even when I go to a salad bar, I need to feel like I'm one of the first people there.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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