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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Questions
Tough
Mayor
Missing
Congressman
Answers
Mayors
Looking
Button
Look
Buttons
Looks
Hot
Would
Miss

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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I always wanted to be a snake. Every time I saw a snake on TV. I'd always say 'Why not me?'
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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