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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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I could take my time, and nobody was pressuring me to be a headliner. I could go up there, find my voice, and figure out what I wanted to do.
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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I don't know if I could rebuild an airplane engine, but I know a little bit about rotors and rivets.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I'm always going to be someone that people enjoy watching.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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