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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Producers
Director
Directors
Writer
Comedy
Stand
Sometimes
Bouncer
Producer
More quotes by Dane Cook
I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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Nothing is a better icebreaker than a great joke.
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There were times, earlier in my career, where I didn't have the wherewithal to self-edit, and I probably said things and pushed the limits to places where people might be put off. But that's truly part of developing as an artist.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I would love to have acidy spit.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
