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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Norton
Williams
Laugh
Laughing
Make
Always

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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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I get so into the moment.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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