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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Laugh
Laughing
Make
Always
Norton
Williams

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I won't take no for a question.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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When you hand someone a camera, why do they act like you just asked them to dissemble a bomb? They take it and they're like, 'What do I do ... I don't really ... ha-huh ...' Yeah, it's the button on the top right where it always is since the beginning of #*@! time!
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I have a new saying, what I see in Vegas, I am telling everybody.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
Dane Cook