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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Williams
Laugh
Laughing
Make
Always
Norton

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Hi, I'm a buck tooth and I like to be outside past the lips.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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When I first hit the scene, it was just a lot of go, go, go, go, go. I have a lot of natural energy anyway, but it was over the top.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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You know your gut instincts are spot on about a person when you can also detect a water source in the soil beneath them.
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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I don't laugh out loud at comics a lot.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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