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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Lived
Comedy
Real
Even
Long
Anymore

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
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If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook
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They used to beat me up after Sunday School, I used to get beat up... yeah, that's a nice little thank you from Jesus.
Dane Cook
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
Dane Cook
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
Dane Cook
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When someone's running late through an airport, I hope they miss their flight so they can meet the love of their life at the duty free shop.
Dane Cook
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
Dane Cook
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I won't take no for a question.
Dane Cook
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
Dane Cook
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
Dane Cook
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
Dane Cook
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My mom and dad passed away from cancer. Within nine months, I lost both of my folks. Immediately after that, I had a horrible betrayal where my brother, who worked for me, stole a lot of my money. He's in jail now.
Dane Cook
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
Dane Cook
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
Dane Cook
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
Dane Cook