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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Anymore
Lived
Comedy
Real
Even
Long

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!
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I'm a deep thinker when it comes to shallow no brainers.
Dane Cook
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
Dane Cook
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
Dane Cook
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
Dane Cook
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
Dane Cook
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
Dane Cook
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
Dane Cook