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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Dane Cook

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TAGS & TOPICS

Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Show
Shows
Able
Way
Trusts
Nobody
Comedy
Stand

More quotes by Dane Cook

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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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I've lived (in LA) for so long, I don't even know what is real and what isn't anymore.
Dane Cook
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook