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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Nobody
Comedy
Stand
Show
Shows
Able
Way
Trusts

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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I've been ignoring my feelings lately. That works pretty well. Might also settle for less this week, just to try it out.
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Drive, ego and cocksureness are all essential elements in terms of getting exactly what you want but losing everything you've got.
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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Nice teeth is a turn on for me. If you open your mouth and it looks like a battle of epic proportions, I don't like it.
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook