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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Awful
Early
Career
Careers
Thought
Always
Love
Psychology
More quotes by Dane Cook
I just get excited doing shows. Off stage I am actually very feeble and must be spoon-fed because my hands are too brittle.
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I won't take no for a question.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
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I'm a late-night guy.
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I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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I love singing along to the radio while I'm riding in the back of a squad car.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
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