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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Awful
Early
Career
Careers
Thought
Always
Love
Psychology
More quotes by Dane Cook
It's hard dealing with day to day disappointments and feeling like you can't find success. Especially when your best friend is Pixar.
Dane Cook
If you think your demeanor is mellow or not particularly charismatic, the material can life you higher. So write everyday, and get onstage or in a coffee shop where they are doing open mice, anywhere you can perform even if that means starting your own open mic night - and be your own self.
Dane Cook
The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
Dane Cook
I'm not giving up on life. I'm giving up on today.
Dane Cook
Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook
You can't teach an old hater new truths.
Dane Cook
Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
Dane Cook
Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
Dane Cook
If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
Dane Cook
Three weeks ago one of my dreams came true. I finally got to see something I always wanted to witness live. I finally saw someone get hit by a car... Nailed!
Dane Cook
You have to learn the crowd. I just pay attention to them so I can make sure I can make them laugh.
Dane Cook
There's estrogen running through my veins!
Dane Cook
I don't hate anyone. I simply block them out using hellish visions in a blind white rage. But if I see them out I'm pleasant.
Dane Cook
I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
Dane Cook
I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
Dane Cook
I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
I think that people who do enjoy my stand-up comedy and the people who get it and the people who are taken in by it, they see that I'm a guy that has love of the game.
Dane Cook
