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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Psychology
Awful
Early
Career
Careers
Thought
Always
Love

More quotes by Dane Cook

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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
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If you take a negative, turn it inside out, it's still a negative. You're just revealing the ugly inside of negative so I say keep it as is.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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You need to open up your soul and have a weep-a-thon.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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Are there glass shards in my anus?!
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It's not for any purpose such as religion, health, or things like that, I just never felt I had the need or want to drink or do drugs.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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I am going to name a group of my kids after my favorite cartoons, I am going to name them after Transformers.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
Dane Cook
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I think beating someone to death with a ukulele would just sound funny.
Dane Cook
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I was not a silly kid or outgoing. In fact, I suffered from quite a bit of anxiety. I used to have panic attacks when I was a teenager, really incapacitating moments, because I had some phobias.
Dane Cook
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
Dane Cook
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
Dane Cook
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I've always read books and loved human behavior since I was ten or twelve years old. Maybe even that's why I wanted to do comedy.
Dane Cook
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
Dane Cook
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
Dane Cook
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
Dane Cook