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Christina can sing all the notes, but Britney is just hot!

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Christina
Hot
Notes
Sing
Comedy

More quotes by Dane Cook

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When somebody says I wouldn't change a thing they're thinking of something they would change.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
Dane Cook
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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Pain only hurts when you are looking for a reason to quit. You don't feel a thing when you know you can still win.
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I like to play guitar, jam out, play the blues, go watch movies. I love movies.
Dane Cook
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Comedy is immediate. Comedy is a solo mission. You're all by yourself, up there. And when you're in a film, on a set, it's a collaborative effort. It's about me being a tool for somebody else to create a story and a character from nothing, from their imagination.
Dane Cook
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
Dane Cook
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
Dane Cook
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
Dane Cook
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes, when a person gains a lot of success at a very young age, they become targets, and it's really easy to follow the crowds and not make independent decisions based on truly how you feel.
Dane Cook
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
Dane Cook
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When you get hit by a car sometimes your shoes will fly off, sometimes your pants will come off, but I was not fortunate enough to see the pants portion.
Dane Cook
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
Dane Cook
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You know your girls up to no good when her and her friends make a pact to post nothing on Instagram.
Dane Cook
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Jim Norton and Harland Williams always make me laugh.
Dane Cook
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
Dane Cook
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook