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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Rebirth
Breakthrough
Hope
Moments

More quotes by Dane Cook

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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I can't watch a woman play with herself - to me, it looks like a DJ working the turntables... DJ Diddles.
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I have new ideas every day, and I always want to take on new challenges.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I was being chased by a giant crab. That's not funny.
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
Dane Cook
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Valentine's Day is a time to celebrate the joy of being in love. Unless you're single & lonely then it's called Laundry Day.
Dane Cook