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I feel like I was born and bred to stay self-motivated. I'm not one of those people who ho-hums and feels sorry for himself when something's bad.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Stay
Born
Self
Feel
Feels
Hums
Something
Bred
Like
Motivated
People
Sorry

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I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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Why do bad guys in movies always love to whistle really slowly?
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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When you're not in love, when you don't have love, everybody you know falls in love.
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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Listening to Evanescence makes me want to break up with a girl in real time as a giant antique hourglass falls to the floor in slow motion.
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Losing my mind sounds so pessimistic. I prefer the term winning my insanity.
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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.
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I saw a young boy eating an ice cream cone, ... I smashed it in his face. You know that kid is going to remember me when he's 50.
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We all hope for breakthrough rebirth moments.
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I have faith in all mankind. Well,not faith really, more like hopeful suspicion. And not all but 5 people. Mankind meaning computers.
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Here's how you know that you're really drunk: when you get into a taxi cab and you think the fare is the time.
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I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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Any guy that refers to dating women as the hunt or being on the prowl should be evaluated for a number of conditions.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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