Quote

I'm quitting the business today. I'm going to open up an appliance store, I've always really been into toasters. I'm giving it all up.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Open
Business
Appliance
Today
Toasters
Giving
Appliances
Going
Store
Really
Quitting
Always
Stores
Comedy

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Strip clubs are great places to meet interesting people you only wanna know for about 40 minutes.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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People know I have a good time on stage. I love my life. I love my job.
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Created a word game to play with a person you're fighting with. Silent Treatment. Nothing happens until one of you quietly says, Hey, you hungry?
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You can't teach an old hater new truths.
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When I'm looking for hot button answers to tough questions, I don't look to congressman or my mayor. I say, 'What would Miss U.S.A. have to say about this?'
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I get so into the moment.
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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It's amazing how dumb people can impress you with how much stupider they can be when they really assert themselves.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I'm bringing back the skinny tie but wearing it tied around my balls.
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There's always someone in every group of friends that nobody likes.
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A lot of comics are kind of vampire types we do our shows and disappear into the night. My philosophy was, this is like politics, and if I want people to know about my campaign, I'm going to go out there and shake hands.
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Video games don't make people go nuts. I played Super Mario forever. Not once hopping on a turtle or smash my head through a brick ceiling.
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You can easily tell if a person is lying and cheating on you if they say, I love you. I would never lie to you or cheat on you.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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