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I am an observer, I like to watch people. I am into psychology and people - how they act and such.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
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People
Observer
Observers
Psychology
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More quotes by Dane Cook

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I love hecklers. They remind you that you are a comedian.
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I was told by a girl once that I should teach a course on how to kiss properly. I thought that was really a nice compliment. I then asked her what she thought about my sexual prowess and she recommended I talk to a guy she used to date. Body blow.
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On stage I am the actor, director and the bouncer all at the same time. Fear does not exist in this dojo does it? No Sensi! Sorry when I get excited I have to toss in some Karate Kid quotes.
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I was home educated but would skip my lessons to go hang out at school.
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Every joke has its origin - the punching people in the face joke. It hurts like hell to get punched in the face.
Dane Cook
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I once overheard the sweetest old woman behind me on a train tell her adorable old husband as he scoffed down a ham sandwich she had brought along, If you ever yell at me to stop bringing a ham sandwich with me every where we go again? Next time I'm bringing a gun. And I'm blowing your God damn head off.
Dane Cook
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I don't get any anxiety. I don't because of two reasons. Number one, just breaking through it as a kid and finally getting past it was like okay, nothing's ever going to feel that scary again as that deafening silence of a joke not working. Any joke not working is not as bad as not being able to even try and get on stage.
Dane Cook
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I say it with my tongue firmly planted in cheek but there's truth to it - being a comedian is very close to being a therapist. When you're working smaller clubs, you're listening. You're feeling an energy, you're going with a tone but when people start yelling out, you almost start a conversation with people.
Dane Cook
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
Dane Cook
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The whole thing with comedy is that you are always in control. Writer, director, actor, producer, and sometimes bouncer. And you are just a piece of their puzzle.
Dane Cook
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
Dane Cook
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
Dane Cook
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
Dane Cook
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If haters or whatever want to find you - I mean, some of them are so tenacious. You want to hire them to work for you. Theyre very, very savvy in terms of how they find you and get to you.
Dane Cook
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Vince Vaughn is a genuine person, awesome guy. He'll come to a lot of my shows. It's not that often that you can meet someone as cool as Vince.
Dane Cook
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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
Dane Cook
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When you are doing stand-up comedy, you are the writer, producer, director, sometimes bouncer.
Dane Cook
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
Dane Cook
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
Dane Cook
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I can do more than just stand-up comedy, and the only way I'll be able to show that is if I do it myself. Because nobody trusts that I can do it.
Dane Cook