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I don't have to do anything for anyone else's benefit anymore. I just want to exceed my own expectations.

Dane Cook

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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Benefit
Anymore
Expectations
Benefits
Anyone
Else
Anything
Exceed

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I'm not racist, I've got a black president.
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It's an incredible feeling falling in love someone who doesn't know you exist.
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It really drives me banana sangwich.
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When you're on a movie set and you are hopefully making a comedy, everyone's stifling their laughter. You're looking at the crew guys, hoping someone is making that face like, and not like, this is not working out, man.
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That MySpace is the story of the year. Everyone but my mother is on it.
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I won't take no for a question.
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Let's talk a little about love. Sometimes you meet somebody and you have what is known as a relationship and things can go great. If things go great you have a great relationship. Sometimes it doesn't go so great and I call that a relationshit!
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I can smell bullshit from a mile away but it's so much harder to detect when it's around you all day.
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We're all gonna lie, we're all gonna cry, and we're all gonna take painful shits.
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You have to have a strong sense of humor to date me, and also know that you're probably going to be a part of the routine quite a bit.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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You are the director of your own life story. Don't cast idiots or people will walk out during your 2nd act.
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Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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Quote/Unquote and you can quote me on the quote/unquote.
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Sometimes sex is just a way to escape having to talk to that person.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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A couple of days back, I got into a car accident. Not my fault. Even if it's not your fault, the other person gets out of their car and looks at you like it's your fault: Why did you stop at a red light and let me hit you doing 80!
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If my voice can resonate that way with kids, maybe it will resonate through 'Planes' as well, and they'll hear that little something that I'm giving to them, a performance that says to them, I want to try. It's all interconnected. I don't think it's thinking too deeply about it.
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My professional dreams were coming true while I was living a personal nightmare.
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Sometimes, when you want to make a difference in a person's life, stay out of it.
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