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When people refer to 'Back in the Day,' it was a Wednesday. Just a little fun fact for you.
Dane Cook
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Dane Cook
Age: 52
Born: 1972
Born: March 18
Comedian
Film Actor
Film Director
Film Producer
Screenwriter
Television Actor
Voice Actor
Boston
Massachusetts
Dane Jeffrey Cook
Fact
Facts
Littles
Back
Little
People
Wednesday
Refer
Fun
More quotes by Dane Cook
Ex-girlfriends will find themselves in my new routine. Sometimes they like that, and sometimes they definitely do not. But comedians should come with a giant warning or disclaimer: IF YOU DATE ME, IT WILL BE IN MY ACT.
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I always thought that if I got no love at all early in my standup career, or I was god awful, I thought I'd get into psychology.
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Text a guy you like right now, I'm thinking about you. If he says, mmm are you in bed? Never speak to him again he's a lifelong moron.
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I'm shooting a pilot based on my show. It's a one-camera show. I play myself.
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You can't become tempted if you just give in a little quicker.
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I have never even had a sip of alcohol, never have done drugs. The hardest thing I have ever done would be Pepsi.
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There was a girl I loved in high school - but never spoke to. Cut to my five-year reunion: I'm an entirely different person.
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I live my life like there's no yesterday.
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I'm curious by individuals that embrace half a story so they can justify how incomplete they feel about their own self worth.
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You have to realize, when you're a comedian, that you have to have a thick skin. And trust me, being onstage in front of people is already difficult enough. Somebody's personal attack in an email is not as hard as getting onstage.
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Ma'am, are you trying to molest me via drivethru?
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I say God bless you... I don't say bless you... I'm not the Lord. I can't do that...
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When you swear to God, its true ... right now God is watching and saying, this is true.
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If you have to be at work at 8, it's always like, 7:54. Just enough time to do nothing. To just lay there and go, I can't do anything! I can't even have an English muffin!
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When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain...
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If you live far away from a person you no longer want to date just let them know that they are geographically undesirable.
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If you're drunk please don't drive. If you're on shrooms please don't think Walmart's a prison for bad clothing that needs help escaping.
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I was very good at kickball ... I was wonderful at ah doing that kick and your leg goes up and your shoe went on top of the school
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I'm a late-night guy.
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Then it was snack time, right in the middle of mass. Right out of nowhere, the priest would look down and say, 'Let's have some yum yums!' You would get in line - you would jump in the line - and you would go up and get the crouton O'Christ.
Dane Cook
